What to Read: Compassionate Leadership: How to Do Hard Things in a Human Way

This issue of “What to Read” highlights Compassionate Leadership: How to Do Hard Things in a Human Way by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter with Marissa Afton and Moses Mohan.

“Quoting Charles Darwin, “It is compassion and care that have made us the dominant species on the planet…It hardly seems probably that the number of men gifted with such virtues as bravery…could be increased through natural selection. Those communities which included the greatest number of the sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.” From Compassionate Leadership: How to Do Hard Things in a Human Way by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter with Marissa Afton and Moses Mohan.

Summary

In difficult times, leaders are called upon to make decisions that will often make someone unhappy, deliver negative feedback and make choices that disappoint people. It is the responsibility of leadership to be a steward for the greater goals while remaining a ‘good human being’ who brings out the best in others. Throughout the book, there are examples of how to blend the difficult sides of leadership with a desire to be compassionate.

Key Take Aways from Compassionate Leadership

Among other things, the authors make the case compassionate leadership includes exercising ‘skillful means’: when you do something seemingly unkind, harsh, hard or inappropriate to achieve a positive results for the one you do it to. The authors break the myth that compassion is somehow being soft and unproductive. Rather, they show how doing hard things and making difficult decisions is often the most compassionate thing to do.

Leaders often confused being a compassionate leader with being an unassertive leader. As the authors point out, “Compassion is the quality of having positive intentions and real concern for others. Compassion in leadership creates stronger connections between people. It improves collaboration, raises levels of trust, and enhances loyalty…To be effective, it often requires pushing agendas, giving tough feedback, making hard decisions that disappoint people…” Not every leader has the skillset to do tough things while continuing to maintain relationships. Some default to avoiding confrontation. Others are overly aggressive. The authors share simple to understand, yet challenging to implement approaches to being more compassionate.

Our Manager as Mentor & Coach program supports supervisors and managers in being assertive while getting the job done. Compassionate leadership isn’t a soft skill that is easy to put into practice, but it is a skill that increases psychological safety and confidence in leaders navigating uncertain times. Learn more about compassionate leadership from the authors in their related article.